In a ‘perfect’, healthy world, everyone would live out their lives independently in their own homes. But in the ‘real’ world this is rarely possible for a growing population of aging seniors. A number of things are impacting the rise in elderly moving into assisted living; we are living longer, adult children often do not live close by to help, and the epidemic rise in dementia and Alzheimer’s in our senior population.
How can you tell if it’s time to consider discussing with your parents that they need to look at assisted living? Here is a short list of warning signs to be watchful of:
• Performing daily tasks has become difficult. Are they starting to wear the same clothes multiple days in a row? Are they no longer bathing or showering regularly? Have you noticed weight loss and suspect they are skipping meals or not eating well? Have they stopped keeping the housework up? Are they spending time in only a few rooms of the home?
• Forgetfulness. Are they repeating the same story and asking the same questions over and over? Do they call you on the phone repeatedly, asking the same questions? Do they sometimes struggle to find the right word in a conversation – or use a completely inappropriate word? Do they have a hard time following simple direction? Have they wandered away from home, and don’t seem to know where they are – or where they were going? Are they too trustful of strangers and vulnerable to scams and elder abuse? Are they forgetting to do routine activities – like bill paying? Are there signs (scorched pans and the smell of smoke) they have forgotten to turn off the stove – or have left something cooking unattended?
• Medication mismanagement. Are they forgetting to take their medications, and/or ‘doubling up’ on them once they realize they forgot? If their medications need to be taken at certain times of the day and under certain circumstances – are they following dosing directions? Are they forgetting to get needed medication refills in a timely manner and often have medication gaps? Do they have expired medications in the home?
• Isolation. Are they losing touch with their friends and losing interest in favorite activities? Have they recently lost a spouse or friends? Are they showing signs of depression, such as sadness, crying and general lack of enthusiasm for life? Are their sleeping patterns disrupted? Are they becoming moody?
• Fear of environment. Are they becoming increasingly fearful of the safety of their own neighborhood? Are they starting to become paranoid and fearful of other people? Are they becoming increasingly afraid to be alone at night and are more dependent upon family members?
• Personal safety. Are uneven floor surfaces and stairs a safety concern for falling in the home? Is there anyone in the home in the event of a fall, or if a medical emergency arises? Is it difficult for them to get in and out of the tub, or off the toilet by themselves? Is there a lot of ‘stuff’ around the home that could cause a tripping hazard?
If it’s possible for a family member to move in and help manage the care and daily activities of an aging parent, staying at home could be an option. If ‘fall risks’ and memory issues are involved, those conditions tend to worsen with time, and managing staying in the home will likely no longer be an option.
If you are considering assisted living as an option, start doing your homework to see what is available in your area. Speak to an Elder Law attorney (very different than an Estate Planner) about ‘next steps’ – such as Power of Attorney (medical and financial), how to pay for assisted living, and how to cut through red tape if your parent qualifies for financial assistance and benefits.
Don’t ignore the signs your aging parent is in trouble, or engage in ‘magical thinking’ that mom or dad is just ‘having a bad day.’ Taking action, putting plans and safeguards in place, and helping them consider a move to assisted living is the loving choice.
If you have questions, or would like to learn more about assisted living, contact Jenny Andrews at 269.969.4000.
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